Star Gazing
by Orokid
Summary: In their fifth year soon after Kaori's death, Miyuki finds that she's going to be Shizuma's astrologer for the rest of her days.


**Orokid:**_** So… here's the weird part- I had already written this long before my Writer's Block decided to be evil and trap me in a small space of creativity. I don't remember when, I don't remember how, but I know that I wrote it. It's in my handwriting, so I must've. Plus, I remember writing it. Haha.**_

_**Anyway… I know that it's a Miyuki and Shizuma piece, but the thing is that I wanted it to be placed after Kaori's death and before their sixth year, when Nagisa comes into the picture. I tried to tie some unanswered pieces together that didn't seem to be in the anime, so… while I am sorry to the Miyuki and Shizuma fans (woot to each and every one of you), but this is a one-sided love sort of fanfic. Sorries! I'm right there with you, honest.**_

**Disclaimer:**_** I actually have nothing to do with the **__Strawberry Panic!__** franchise. That belongs to the author, illustrator and the company that bought the rights to it- nothing in which I have a part in. I'm just a lonely writer that felt a fanfic might fix up my boredom into nothingness.**_

**Star-Gazing**

Miyuki watched silently as the actress portraying Romeo bowed lowly to her captivated audience, retaining her ever present gracefulness as she remained in place for a while longer than the rest of the cast. The counsel woman was less than surprised by the smile that the lead flashed toward her admirers, nor by the daring yet void eyes that scanned the room striking each and every tender heart that had been mesmerized by her every move, helpless as a deer staring down it's evident murderer. She knew that each of those poor fawns would have their hearts trampled over by the end of the semester. Saint Miatré's vice president almost felt sorry for them- although what sorrow she may have felt would only be replaced by a soft jealousy that only she knew of, and she would lose her empathy for their future heartache.

Slowly, as the curtains came to meet one another, confining the actors behind the veil between reality and make-believe, the fifth grader had pushed her body off from the backstage wall that she had propped herself against long before then. Each character stepped down from the raised platform, reverting back to their normal selves and names that the dead poet and playwright had nothing to do with. Juliet returned to Shiori, Tybalt to Yuna, and so on and so forth until one character remained upon the stage, standing tall and unmoving behind the velvet material that had closed her off from the world on the other side. It didn't take long for the dark haired beauty to notice that the void in Romeo's eyes had filled, although the emotion that had replaced the prior emptiness had been something only Miyuki had gotten the chance to see. She knew instinctively that her friend was getting tired of putting on that mask of pseudo happiness and pretending that nothing was wrong. Her carefulness seemed to be slipping, and it hurt her so much to watch this downhill spiral.

Meanwhile, the vice president was finding it just as hard to keep her own in place. Every time that dark look would pass through those beautiful emerald eyes, she wanted desperately to let go of the restraint she held so dearly to, not wanting anyone else to see those forbidden emotions that she carried within her secret heart.

"She always enjoyed this play," the silver haired woman spoke, having heard the final click of the door and the hum of silence that had followed closely behind. She didn't turn to face her, content with gazing at the soft dark red curtains swaying gently with the force of the fans above the stage. Her former roommate knew that she could sense her presence in the auditorium, and she could only guess that she had known of her long before the play had ended. A gentle curve made it's way onto the slightly shorter girl's lips, feeling the irony and pain that had come with the subject that had been spoken of. The play's lead offered only a bitter and lonesome smile at the memories that assaulted her heart and soul. "She wanted to someday become Juliet if…" Neither wanted her to finish that sentence at that moment, knowing what she had wanted to say.

If she ever got better from her mysterious disease.

"I remember, Shizuma." Her tone took it's usual route, stopping shy of the sadness she truly felt inside, sounding as though she were an uninterested classmate. "I remember well."

If neither had understood the other as they did, one might've assumed that they weren't very close at all. In all actualities, that was as far from the truth as possible, and they both knew little things that few others had picked up on. Things like the little quirks they had, or the way one spoke or said something, seemed to be things that they noted throughout their years together at school.

So, while her friend might sound less than empathetic toward their mutual loss, Shizuma knew inside that she hurt as well, and her heart was as open and bleeding as hers might seem to be- even if her former roommate could see past the woman's exterior and see her true heartache. Miyuki could always read through her defenses and see just what the school's dear Etoilé had lost. She knew that she would rather spend her time sitting in that empty room that had once held her most precious treasure, mourning the soul that had left her beloved's body behind.

The young goddess's emerald eyes turned from the curtain, focusing upon the subtle dark orbs of the woman who stood nearby, patiently watching and waiting for her. "I know, Miyuki-chan." Those words tugged at her heart strings, even though she knew it was foolish to feel that pang of regret in her bosom. Miyuki could not lie that this exceptional girl had no hold over her, that every movement she made or every empty gaze she gave didn't affect her in some way.

It was almost as if the dark haired student council member was staring into the universe beyond her reach, watching a single beautiful star that had been cut off from the rest of her kind. It wasn't said, but she knew that this lonely star was different than anyone else- and she wouldn't have it any other way. Still, she wished that it were different, and she hoped beyond all hope that a falling star might pause to spend time, offering friendship and love where she- the modern Galileo- could not give.

Stepping forward toward the young actress, Miyuki kept her usual distance, having felt the usual fear that her friend might know of the emotions that raged within her very being, offering a rare and undeniable smile as a consolation prize. Emerald pools glimmered and shined as they always seemed to do, and the proud vice president didn't budge despite her pounding heart. Nor did she move when she had felt the soft and nimble fingers of the companion brush against her cheek, trying to use their evil caress to tempt her like the others. Her feet remained planted and firm in the ground, despite the fact that the silver haired goddess had moved those dream-haunting lips ever closer to her own, even while her libs wished nothing more than to fold beneath her. She would be strong, even if it would kill her in the end, and-

"Do you love me, Miyuki-chan?"

The question had it her abruptly. In all effects, the fifth grader had no clue how to answer that statement, and the need within her to disagree with the Etoilé had gotten stuck in her throat, reaching desperately for the vocal cords that she could not reach. Instead, her mouth gaped like a dying fish on a shore, opening only to close, searching for the words to escape her lips. Yet, no matter how much she might try, it was impossible for her to deny the truth with a silent voice.

Those warm hands that had ended up pressing against her in one way or another- one on her neck, chilling her spine with her touch, and other on her former roommate's waist- had tightened lightly, allowing Shizuma to move closer while keeping her current interest in place. Miyuki could feel her breath on her skin, teasing her more than she might ever know.

It was then that her voice had chosen to work, her body finding a similar occurrence happen to it. Her hand had reached up, resting upon the woman's shoulders for mere seconds before firmly pushing the woman away. "What the Hell are you thinking, Shizuma?" Her voice had been louder, painfully hurtful, and her cheeks were red with embarrassment as she looked down at the fallen Romeo.

Regret filled her immediately, although she did her best not to let it show. Even so, she was a book to the one who was gazing up at her with shock and remorse. The silver haired girl had lowered her head in shame.

Log moments had passed before both had been upright and the silence had been filled with shoes clacking away from the stage where the silent Romeo remained, just as she had once the play had ended almost an hour before. The counsel woman was begging herself not to look back and be trapped like a fly in a spider's thread. Just barely, she had escaped from the very black window many others had succumbed to, and she was afraid that she might not be able to a second time.

"Why do you stay, Miyuki-chan?" The question forced the young woman to turn, to look at the woman who would never know the truth within her heart. "Even if you walk away, you always come back and pretend like… like nothing happened." A lost child looked up through the emeralds in which the dark haired girl found intoxicating beyond all understanding why, she could only give a sigh and make her way back over to her friend. Carefully, the young woman sat herself down beside the silver haired goddess, folding her arms about her knees loosely so to show that she was still moderately comfortable around her. She know of what she could say, pondered about what might help her former roommate heal from the pain that she felt deep inside. Sometimes, she just wished that things weren't just easier said than done.

"Because Shizuma…" She watched the other girl, offering only a small unsure smile as her heart raced fearfully within her chest. Several thoughts raced through her mind, beckoning worries that she had hoped to forget once she had walked from that room until she would see her again. What would she say? What would she do? Would she take it one way or the other? Unable to answer her own question, she resigned to her fate, knowing that it was better said now than later at a very wrong time. "I… I love you." She knew that her voice must've seemed so weak at that moment, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to look the woman in the eye for a while after this. Still, what had been said was done with, and there was no way for her take those words back. "That's why."

Shizuma leaned against her friend's shoulder, closing her eyes so to think through her words perfectly. "And I love Kaori."

"I understand that," she answered truthfully, lowering her chin until her chest seemed to be holding it up. "I don't ask for your love in return because it would be foolish of me to assume that I could take her place." She inhaled deeply, her arms tensing around her legs as she felt a wave of heartache hit her head on. The last thing she would do was cry for a love that she knew wouldn't have ever been requited beforehand. "In the end, I just want to be the one you turn to when you need hlp, or be the one to keep you and your wild ways in line." She turned slightly to see what the woman beside her was doing, a small smirk upon her lips despite her fear. "I'm fine with being your friend, Shizuma as long as I get to be near you."

"Miyuki?" A questioning hum was the woman's only response, and she took it for what she understood it to be. "Thank you. For loving me."

The dark eyed vice president gave a warm smile as she watched her, content as they were right then. She wondered for a moment how many more moments like these might they have in the future. "You're welcome, Shizuma-chan."

"Miyuki?" Another hum answered her a second time, and the beautiful Romeo had a small, barely noticeable smirk on her lips at the sound. They knew each other too well, and it was growing all the more evident as they spent their moments together, talking or signing papers. Nonetheless, the lonesome Etoilé was happy with the way there were and she wouldn't trade her friend for anything. "Will you join me in the stars?"

The counsel woman looked at her with confusion, only to allow her features to rest as she realized that she had been read like a book long before any secrets had been spilled. She shook her head, gazing down at her feet as the words formed in her mind, and she leaned back against the girl beside her. "I'm only an astrologer. You'll have to wait for a star to fall alongside you."

They sat in silence for a while longer before one- or each of them- moved, claiming that their duties were calling them. A silent promise to meet up later as they usually had- if only to sign papers upon papers while in the other's presence- was made as they parted. Nothing had changed between them, despite the fact that their conversation had opened and closed several doors and windows, and they were fine with the ache and pain that remained behind.

A streak of star shine crossed the sku, lonesome and shy, and another hesitated before falling alongside it. Miyuki smiled at the sight. A change was coming; one that would ease the sufferings of her beloved. She couldn't wait until it would happen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Orokid: **_**So… yeah. This actually is a lot better than how I'm writing nowadays. It's sad really, I know, but… I've been out of practice with writing for so long that my talent has somehow been reduced a little. Nonetheless, I will attempt to re-teach myself how to write like this, and I'm ever hopeful that I'll achieve the ability at some point or another.**_

_**Moving on… While this may be better than how I've been writing recently, I am more than willing to take suggestions and critiques about my style and anything else that may need to be fixed. Please send in a review and tell me what you think- I'd appreciate it.**_ ^u^


End file.
